Today I learnt...

...that your heart doesn't really stop when you sneeze.

Yes. I know. Unbelievable but true.

And I've had a hard time convincing a group of people. And I haven't quite succeeded. In fact, I've convinced no one yet. It seems they're happier to think that they die and come back to life hundreds of times a year.

Next, I'm gonna try and convince them that the earth is round.

This is gonna be a hard one I know. But in the name of mother knowledge, who does not exist, I shall descend on these people like a white eagle with big ears, and show them the way to macaroni and cheese, tampons and the microwave.

And they will shoot down this eagle with lightning bolts from their arse.

Dammit!