Virtual Insanity

Big Big Changes.

2008-05-05T06:01:00.005+02:00

I haven't really posted in here in a long time.. and the reason is that other things have been consuming my thoughts and time.

But here I am, been awake for 3 hours and it's too late to sleep now. So, I thought I could ramble on and on in here till it's time to get moving.

It's Mother's Day soon.. and this time, I'm not expecting anything. I know that what ever DOES happen on that day is just the obligatory 'just to shut me up' thing.. and that's not really what I need. Instead of some meal, I'll drag the man's butt to my beauty salon and make him pay for something I'm going to enjoy BY MYSELF. Or maybe with my own mother.

So for mother's day, please.. just get lost! I am a mother the other 364 days of the year. Just give me one .. just one day of leave!

Anyways .. so dear husband, if you are reading this (rofl) now you know what I want.

Then.. comes our anniversary. This is going to be.. just awesome. :) I can already see it. A card .. probably with a heart on it.. which will probably read "To my Valentine" or something. And his idea of a weekend get-away will be an over night camping trip with the kids. A trip I will have to pack for and prepare for. A trip that would consume more preparation time than actual camping time. Ah well. At least there is a lovely walk around there..

Mother's Day next year will be very different..

Big changes are happening..
..and I'm quitting some addictions and habits..
my addiction to bad food, or too much food,
my addiction to biting my nails - a habit I've had since my memory can take me back..
my habit of trying to please people who don't give a shit about pleasing me..
my habit of living in bed clothes,
my habit of spending my every cent on everyone but myself.

Some addictions and habits I intend to keep.
Like my addiction to the internet.
My addiction to my friends.
My new habit of keeping in touch with my family, especially my dad.
My addiction to music.
My addiction to feeling good and to the people that matter.

This coming month, I have set a few targets.
I'm going to get employed.
I'm going to reach my 10kilo weightloss milestone.
I'm going to paint my fingernails for the very first time.
I'm going to set a plan for the month of June which will include leaving my dead beat husband and marrying the man of my dreams.
I'm also going to stop day dreaming - but I feel my last one should have been included in my 'quitting addictions list'.

Summer of 08'.. here I come!

Sorry. I know I've neglected you..

2008-02-24T18:49:00.002+01:00

My apologies to those readers who've been coming to look for something new and not finding anything.

Well, truth be told, alot has been going on in my personal life and I haven't been in the mood to blog about ANYTHING for the past 6 months. I still am not.. well not like I used to. And I'd hate to change the humoristic, childish and sometimes down-right silliness of it all.

And in my attempt to do just that (LOL) here's a sad song.

Ahh finally..

2007-11-22T21:59:00.000+01:00

Finally I have mustered the courage to write in here again. Anyone who knows me, know that I always start something and usually lose interest after a while. And I had lost it. So much so that posting here seemed very daunting..

But here I am. And today I shall rant on some of the events of today.

*Does everyone need to shout so loud when I'm coming out of that delicate moment between the state of sleep and the state of being awake?

*WHY does the butter finish when I'm in a hurry to make school lunches?

*Who's the genious that organises road works on major roads, slap bang in the middle of the morning rush hour?

*Who's that idiot that almost rammed my car?

*When is this song going to stop playing in my head?

*How can I make time stand still?

*Do my thoughts really need to haunt me so?

*How will I get through this weekend?

*Would have taking up drugs been an easier addiction to deal with?

*And lastly, how bored must I be to be writing in here again?

Hold your breath...

2007-08-12T15:31:00.000+02:00

...cos I won't be making any new posts anytime soon. Got too much going on and it's way too hot to think even...

Xemxija memories..

2007-07-21T22:11:00.000+02:00

Some things remind me of certain episodes of my life so clearly, as if I was re-living them.. like I was being transported back into time..

Lately, I've been on a memory reviving mission. First with thundercats and other cartoons, then with Monkey island.. now it's time for winamp tunes of 97/98 or something like that...

and

and

Funny commercial of the week...

2007-06-11T20:12:00.000+02:00

I just think it's hilarious... :D

Immigration Crisis

2007-06-05T16:40:00.000+02:00

It's not usual for me to write about anything half serious even. Or for a post to be long. But I have a feeling this one is gonna.

Malta. Tiny mediterranean island. A beautiful little safe paradise for those lucky enough to live here. But, we with flaws none the less. One being the government without balls that we have, and another being that our size also means we are overcrowded.

And we are smack bang in the middle of the current exodus that is taking place from Africa to Europe. The people who are arriving illegally on our shores claim that they are running from their war torn country. Except to get here they must go to Libya first. Is not Libya good enough? No. Why? Because the ones who come here are running from a hard life, not war. They are running from poverty or rather unemployment. They are running towards what they think is a paradise on earth, where money grows on trees and jobs are just handed over to you.

Great. What shall OUR unemployed do then?

So, we join the EU. YEY. This should be fun. So far, we've tarmac'ed a few roads and.. erm.. paid fines. They give us (lol @ give - who ever agreed to this is either a complete moron or got a really handsome pay off) a HUGE search and rescue area. And just to give you an idea of how huge this area is, take a look for yourself. You'll either laugh or cry.

Now, lets all put out thinking caps on and see who exactly is benefiting from this huge "net". Hmm.. it wouldn't be the Italians now would it? But they're such a nice bunch of people. They did our Haz Zebbug road!

Now you know exactly how MUCH that road cost us.

What's even more hilarious is that from all that area, only a tiny portion of it is for our fisherman to fish in. So, as someone on my local forum said, we can't take resources from our sea, but we have to pick up all the rubbish in it. As the Maltese says, irrangawna ghal frisk!

So, some days ago, immigrants who's boat drowned, grab onto a tuna pen, which is sort of like a ring in the surface of the sea that keeps a tuna net afloat. The fisherman didn't want to take the 27 people onboard because they were too many and he was afraid they would take his boat over. He notifies Maltese authorities who see that the boat is in Libyan waters, they notify libyan authorities and the libyan authorities do nothing. These people would have been left to drown if it was up to the Libyans. AMAZING. Malta refused to helo because these people were not in her search and rescue zone. So a spanish trawler picked them up.

No doubt, Malta has gotten all the slack for this event. We don't wanna upset uncle Ghaddafi now do we? So, it's ok to slam Malta for not doing something it wasn't supposed to do anyway, as long as we don't shake the hand that holds the oil strings.

Those who had something to say against Malta should first see how many illegal immigrants we ALREADY have, how many have been rescued just this past month and how on earth we are supposed to take any more!

Recent events in the seas around and close to Malta.

May 18: About 28 immigrants drown after their boat capsizes 75 miles south of Malta. A 23-year-old from Ivory Coast survives the ordeal as he is rescued by a Maltese fisherman.

May 21: Twenty-four immigrants rescued by the AFM but they claim one man had gone missing.

May 21: An AFM aircraft spots between 53 and 57 Eritrean immigrants on a boat with a stalled motor and taking in water. They are nowhere to be seen by the time the rescue vessel reaches them. They have not been found since.

May 22: A group of 24, including two women and a girl, arrive on a boat near Birzebbuga.

May 23: Two groups of immigrants land in Malta - 29 North Africans arrive by boat near Benghajsa and 26 are brought ashore later by the AFM after being picked up by an Italian tug boat.

May 23: AFM calls off search for Eritreans lost at sea.

May 25: A boatload with 29 on board arrives at Marsaxlokk, including an 18-month-old child. They are picked up by the AFM about six miles to the south of Malta.

May 25: Following pressure by the UNHCR, the Italian navy commits an aircraft and seven patrol boats to search for the Eritreans. Another 78 immigrants land in Sicily, including 52 in Lampedusa.

May 26: A Spanish trawler (Montfalco) rescues 26 illegal immigrants in Libyan rescue waters. Malta refuses entry on grounds that they were in Libyan rescue waters.

May 26: A group of 25 immigrants are brought into Malta by the AFM while attempts to rescue a number of immigrants in the Libyan search and rescue region are under way. Just a few hours earlier, the army accompanies another group of 29 Somalis, including three children.

May 26: Twenty-seven illegal immigrants are rescued by an Italian vessel after they held on for several hours to a Maltese-owned tuna pen in Libyan rescue waters. The incident sparks international controversy.

May 29: The Spanish government decides to accept the immigrants floating in limbo on board the Montfalco. Spain accuses Malta of acting irresponsibly.

May 31: Tired and disoriented, 25 Somalis are rescued by the AFM after an ordeal at sea when their boat capsizes 80 miles south of Malta. Another group consisting of 27 men and six women, one of whom is pregnant, arrive in Malta late at night.

June 1: A French war vessel stumbles upon a sea of dead bodies. Since the vessel was in Libyan rescue waters, the AFM asks the captain to seek assistance from Libya first. The captain informs the AFM that the ship would be steaming towards France. The bodies arrived there on Sunday.

June 2: Twenty-nine immigrants, including a six-month-old baby, are recovered by the AFM from a drifting boat.

Malta hanina.. wisq hanina.

Summer is on its way.

2007-06-03T14:50:00.000+02:00

Yey.

More like NAY!! I hate the heat. Give me Alaska any day. I'm dreading summer. It's like a polonged 5 months of heat, food turning bad a few minutes after being out of the fridge, and spending most of the day in the shower to cool off. Thanks to the 65%, or so, tax surge in the electricity bills, putting the A/C on means paying for it through the nose. So we have to find other ways of keeping cool. Like sleeping in the fridge.

The plan was to fix the roof up to be habitable for summer. It would be great because we already got two shade canopies, a bbq, a toilet and washroom, and a 'shed' that was used for as a storage room that we'll make into the bedroom. Kids will have a 'permanent' paddling pool where they can cool off in and make as much mess as they want. If everything goes according to plan, we will do the refurbishment of the inside of the house without living in the dust, it will be fun to be doing something different, especially for the kids, and my husband will get torn to bits by mosquitos.

Sound pretty good to me. :D

But, I'll STILL trade all that and a fridge of cold (non alcoholic, lol) beer for a one way ticket to Alaska.

A trip in the time machine.

2007-05-23T18:54:00.000+02:00

Hope you enjoy these as much as I do.
Even if it wasn't ever your thing, you gotta respect a cartoon character who gets away with shouting "HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" infront of a huge audience of kids.

Gotta love that guitar. Actually, I think I liked the opening and closing theme (mostly closing) more than the whole cartoon!

The Bush Countdown clock.

2007-05-16T22:01:00.000+02:00

The folks who did this also make Countdown Keychains and say these are the reasons why everyone should have one and wear it:

*Wearing one around your neck helps to keep Republicans away and smells much better than garlic.
*Purchasing a BackwardsBush keychain instantly qualifies you for "Enemy Combatant" status.
*You'll never again be mistaken for a Republican.
*Now that Bush has his judges on the bench, the keychains will most likely soon be illegal (and therefore a collector's item).
*Unlike Bush, our keychain has a 100% approval rating.
*Carrying a BackwardsBush keychain will make it much easier on the Secret Service to identify you when they break into your house in the middle of the night to take you to Guantanamo.
*In case of impeachment, keychain can easily be reset to reflect new departure date.
*You might as well spend your money on a keychain now, because if social security gets privatized, you won't have any money left!!!
*If you're reading this, the NSA is most likely already spying on you, so you might as well make it worth it!!!
*Backwards Bush proudly supports 'Save Darfur'.

Mother's day and other interesting stuff...

2007-05-15T11:07:00.000+02:00

Haven't updated the blog in a while. Sometimes I go 'off' it. So, today, I'm feeling bad for the sorry state it's in...
So, last week, I was sick. Really sick. And the worst thing about being sick is that I was alone, in the sense that no one was around to look after me, and if that wasn't enough, I had the kids to look after. The place became an instant pig sty. The kids got hungry, and the older one had to find a way to feed her and her sis. I was out of it.

By the next day, I was much better.. although mornings and evenings are the worst. And then on Mother's day, I was taken out and pampered. Went to a great restaurant, that does the most delicious meat and has the most tempting salad bar. I would live there if I could and have Irish rib-eye steak for breakfast lunch and dinner everyday.

So, *what's today? 15?* in 2 days time, it's our anniversary. It's been 5 years since someone hit me with a bat, knocked me out cold, impersonated me and then forged my signiture on them marriage certificates!

I would have gotten less for a hit and run.

My Brodo.

2007-05-04T18:29:00.000+02:00

I was browsing today. (ah, does't that sound so posh)...

Ok. I was bored as hell and wasting time on the net today, when I came across this and it reminded me of someone. He knows who he is.

Yes, you my dear Brodo. :D

Little Einsteins...

2007-05-02T22:00:00.000+02:00

You know when you walk into a toy shop, and you start looking at the bright packages... inside you're like a little firecracker.. just like when you was a kid. But this time, you're buying a toy for your own kids and you want to believe that such a store doesn't bring out the kid in you, right?

Well, it does. There. I said it.

But worse than a store... lately, I've become hooked to a pre-schooler's tv cartoon and its theme song. It's just stuck in my head. And both my kids' heads. We walk around the house singing it and filling in for each other...

Catchy no?

Pavement art.

2007-04-23T22:45:00.000+02:00

Some very impressive art.

And how he does it...

Even big girls can shake it...

2007-04-13T21:46:00.000+02:00

I'm an avid fan of bellydancing and one day, I'll quit trying to learn it by myself and take proper lessons. I've seen hours of belly dancing on youtube, but I think this girl takes the cake. You never see 'larger' girls dancing, but this girl proves she can do it and imo, better than many others I've seen that are half her size with nothing to shake. lol

And who said guys don't dance just as good? This may look a little weird, but appearantly, he's something of an Egyptian prodigy.

You will do as I say...

2007-04-12T18:29:00.000+02:00

You are getting sleepy...
Your eyes are getting heavier...
And heavier...
And you are feeling a calm come over your body...
You are getting very sleepy...
You will do as I say...
You will come to my house 3 times a day and wash my dishes...
You will do my grocery shopping every other day...
You will buy me a new summer wardrobe on your credit card...
And 6 pairs of new shoes...
You will guard my pc when I am not using it...
You will get down on all fours and pant like a dog, because I don't have (or want)a real one...
You will pretend that I update my blog everyday and you will compliment me on those non existant entries...
You will kick my husband in the nuts when he annoys me...
You will make sure I take my daily dosage of zyprexa...

Riverdance

2007-03-20T19:05:00.000+01:00

I remember seeing this in the 94' Eurovision.. It is still crystal clear in my head. I can't get enough of this particular Riverdance track.

My prediction for the Eurovision winners of 2007

2007-03-18T21:07:00.000+01:00

I've heard most of the entries for this year and ar first, I started off thinking that ours is nothing special. Although I doubt it will actually win, since we have no neighbours and all that, it seems to have a fair chance at placing in the top ten. Well unless all Europe suddenly becomes gay over night and votes for one of the four countries who chose drag queens to represent them, like Denmar, Sweden etc..

My personal favourite is Turkey's entry. Although a predominantly Muslim country, they have a whooper of a vid to go with the great song..

I present to you the Justin Timberlake of Turkey: Kenan Dogulu.

Shake it up Shekerim.

An even better song of his that imo would REALLY take the cake if this was taken to Helsinki is this one..

Cakkidi.

Shocking cartoons II

2007-03-13T21:38:00.000+01:00

I recently came upon 3 shocking cartoons that will probably be the start of violent protests and serious bra burning in the streets.

While we are on the subject of women, I thought I might as well put this up here for all those MCP's out there reading this here blog.

Sex Education

2007-03-01T21:27:00.000+01:00

Here is a clip about sex education. Watch very carefully. You might learn a thing or two. Look out for those "rude bits" :D

"This is a man. And this isn't."

"There is a difference between men and ladies. Do you know what it is? ...Yes, that's right. Men are better at football."

ROFLMAO

Carnival

2007-02-19T22:57:00.000+01:00

Carnival, a time for pranks and fun. For ridicule and for laughing at other people and, with a bit of luck, at yourself.

Ah, how I loved Carnival as a young kid. See, I used to actually believe I would one day grow up and marry a prince to become a princess. So, a bit of practising never did anyone any harm, right?

Then, when I got a bit older, too old for princess dresses, my costumes turned into something funny or provocative and sexy. One way or another, I would do what I used to do best. Attract attention. Not always of the positive kind. *rolls eyes*

I remember sewing (which I still insist on doing now) my own costumes and I particularily remember the nurse outfit I made. :D Very VERY short and revealing. I wore my mum's wedding suspenders and a pair of white stockings, high heals.. and my medical bag was full of flavoured condoms. My memory is a bit hazy, but I clearly remember passing them out to guys in the club.. lol that was one hilarious evening. I was 18, single, hot and completely 'liberated'. And no, I didn't use a condom that night. Well, unless blowing one up and tying it to a friend's wind-shield wiper is considered 'using', that is. lol.

And that's nothing next to other pranks. I've even left tampons and sanitary pads (clean lol) stuck to wipers and windshields in the past with some message on them..

Once, I remember hosing down collegues at work using the backwash shower. Then when my boss came and the floor was soaking, we told her we were washing the floor. ROFL

Then with my own salon, I remember locking a collegue out of the salon, letting her bang and call at the door for us to open.. laughing her head off as I went to another window and taped a sign with an arrow pointing towards the door that read, "WHERE'S THE FIRE???"

It's amazing I still have friends at all. lol

The value of art.

2007-02-01T23:07:00.000+01:00

Some people look at abstract art and appreciate it to the point that they would part with millions of dollars for it. Now, I don't really like abstract art that much, because I feel like I can't relate to it... so, paying so much money seems like the silliest thing to do. So the value of a piece of art, for me, relies on how I can relate to it. How it effects my senses and if it awakens any memories or emotions. If, like a childhood song, it washes over me in warm golden waves, drenching me in nostalgia and memories that time has tried to erase.

For those who seem baffled by my sudden outburst of poetic crap, I'll explain what I'm getting to.

Nabhan. He's an Omani with talent. A great cartoonist. And even though I don't know shit when it comes to Digital Art, I do know that I love every bit of art that this gifted person creates.

His latest is my favourite, mostly because of the memories it brings back to me, but also because of the layering and the hues he uses in this particular design. Oh and that beautiful music too.

Simply beautiful.

Irreplaceable

2007-01-31T22:17:00.000+01:00

I am absolutely in love with this song. Beyonce' of course...

Lyrics:

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
If I bought it nigga please don't touch
And keep talking that mess, that's fine
But could you walk and talk at the same time
And It's my mine name that is on that Jag
So remove your bags let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard telling me
How I'm such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
And call up on that chick and see if she is home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Cause you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby you dropped them keys hurry up before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard telling me
How I am such a fool - Talking about
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I will have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since I’m not your everything
How about I'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby I wont shead a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left

To the left
To the left

Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I could have another you in a minute
matter fact he'll be be here in a minute - baby

You must not know about me
You must not know about me
I can have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

Don't you just love those "You bastard loser, I will get over you, just watch me" songs? :D

2007-01-23T16:47:00.000+01:00

Tagged by Solidus.

What will happen to your e-mail when you die?

It will remain forever floating in cyber space. Or someone will forget to pay my isp and they'll deleted it all.

Did you try once to give the password to someone? If yes, what kind of relation that you have with this person to trust him/her and give him/her the key of your secrets?

I don't give passwords out, I believe some things whould remain private no matter what.

Your famous nickname among your Friends?

Fengy, I guess.

Your age?

27

Your horoscope?

This is a silly question. I'm the lioness ain't I? *ahem*

Your qualifications?

I'm a hairstylist.

Your character "personality"?

Hmm, I think I talk way too much. I love to joke around and be a bit outrageous, but only around people I would feel comfortable doing that. I think I got a great sense of humour and a short temper. I'm moody. I could be having a "happy day" or an "I don't care" day, or a "get this shit outta my face, you moron" day. Luckily for Solidus, today is not the last example. LOL. Also, I like to take things seriously when they need to get done. I don't like muckin' about when I have deadlines and time limits. Sometimes I feel like I'm stronger in many ways than many women and many men. It must be my ego. I must have a man's ego. Nooooooooooooo!!!!

What travel means to you?

Tasting different food, talking different languages and seeing different customs.

Your time out of peak

huh?

What do you purchase?

Anything that needs buying.

Features taken from your dad

My hard headedness, my arrogance, my ego, my humour and my piss-taking side. My metabolism I guess too. Damn you dad! lol

Features taken from your mom

My tolerance, my femminism, my compassion, and basically the better side of me.

The most 6 things you hate

Being bossed about
People who feel sorry for themselves
Fingerprints on mirrors, glass, monitors, tv's..
Clothes left lying about
People who tease in an annoying way
People who insist on having the last word

The most 6 things you love

My kids. My life would seriously be half of what it is without them. They are a constant resource of joy.
My computer, because it feeds my internet addiction
My job, because it's what I love doing. It's like an energy inside me that is bursting at the seems
Chatting to people with a good sense of humor. It simply makes my day.
Chocolate. Unfotunately.
Chinese food. Triple unfortunately. lol

What job means to you

Speaking about my personal job, it's a time for play, for expressing myself, for doing something I love doing and getting paid for it. :D

What computer and internet mean to you

It's my library, my meeting place, my cinema, my punching bag (unluckily for a few).

You would like to pass this tag to:-

Kevin
Tuxka
Kebo

Llama in Marsa

2007-01-23T16:22:00.000+01:00

This is a bit wobbly, but while driving home after picking my daughter up from school, I got a bit shocked as a llama darted out into traffic from a nearby field and jumped right infront of my car..

...towards the end, you can here my nervous laugh LOL and the car speeding up as I overtake the animal at break-neck speed. ROFL

This is a still of the animal.

24

2007-01-16T18:40:00.000+01:00

I'm so utterly and completely in love with.. erm .. I mean, addicted to this tv series called 24.

I missed the first 3 seasons because at a glance I thought they were these complecated cheaply made series... but later on, while I was surfing the net, the tv was left on and the programme started. I found myself turning every so often to see what's happening next and I got suckered in. Kiefer is just so damn sexy. And I don't usually like blondes. ?Yesterday I tried to watch a whole season in an evening.. and I got a thumping headache as a result. I'm just not used to that much action in one night.

Shit. That's just sounded completely wrong didn't it...

Oh well. YEY for Jack Bauer! :D He saves the day again!

Dang. Is that starship enterprise?

The modern day inquisition.

2007-01-02T14:19:00.000+01:00

On 9/11, terrorists killed 2,973 human beings. Abortionists killed 3,700.

Tagged..

2006-12-30T21:07:00.000+01:00

Hahaha red dragon tagged me. This is gonna be the longest post ever.. So I'm supposed to list all my nick names I've ever had. Ok. Get ready. Here goes...

List of lifetime nicknames:

Fengy - derived from the word Feng Shui. Google it you lazy sod.

The End.

Merry Christmas!!

2006-12-25T10:34:00.000+01:00

The day when we remember how a woman gave birth to a special baby in a barn. Such humble surroundings to be born in, for such an important person. And while you, a no body, sit there in your comfy sitting rooms, with heating, opening gifts that further make your lives even more luxurious, spare a thought for the person who was born in that barn and later lived such a humble life.

For those who don't believe in this feast, celebrate love, friendship, forgiveness and charity with us. Share in the joy that compassion towards mankind gives you. Go visit someone you haven't seen in a while. Make up with someone you had an argument with. Give something to charity, feed a stray cat in your street. Christmas is about alot of things that the whole world, irrespective of the faiths, has in common.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Pain in the...

2006-12-16T14:21:00.000+01:00

Here it is. That rare, elusive post about something that happened in my real life. Get your popcorn...

So, it was Friday, the day I would go to my first ever "Parent's Day". The day I used to hate when I was a kid at school. But now, the day I was so eager to go to since it won't be about ME. lol.

As usual, I have to get everyone ready while the man lounges lazily on the sofa. It's 15 minutes before our appointment, and I'm angrily moaning at him to get a move on. He is ready in 5 minutes, grabs the youngest and heads for the car. Leaving me to get all the toddler paraphanelia. I put my shoes on on the stairs, turn round in a hurry and loose my footing. Thank God I didn't have the little one in my arms and that my daughter was a few stairs above me not below. As my foot bent under my weight, I heard a series of cracks and excruciating pain that reduced my to tears. The pain started easing with the immediate swelling (that pushes against the nerves) and I could limp a bit..

After the meeting with the teacher, I went to hospital to get it checked out. 3 hours upon arriving, I am still waiting to have an X-ray taken. Then, after having it taken and seen to by the doctor, she asks for my file to assess the "scar" on the bone I have from a previous injury years ago. 30 minutes later, no file has been delivered. I get fed up and tell the doc I'm going home... she asks me to stay a bit more, but I have decided. I'm leaving. She gave me her number to call back and get a reply on what they find.

Two hours later, I call, and the file hadn't been delivered yet! :O

I call back an hour after that, and they got my file, but half of it is missing.
:O
*falls over*
*gets up*
:O
*falls over again*

Chopper's tips for getting through post 9-11 airport security.

2006-12-16T14:19:00.000+01:00

ROFLMAO

It is better than YOU!

2006-12-09T12:05:00.000+01:00

Hah! I bet you always thought you're the best being to grace this earth, the ultimate creation, the top of the range model of animal species.

It's time to learn the truth. LOL

It is better than you.

The Fang

2006-12-05T23:17:00.000+01:00

It's been exactly 4 years since she died. The Fang was family to me. She was the laziest of all but she loved every one. She was never afraid of visitors and she was the calmest, most docile animal I have ever known. Sometimes I had to check that she was still breathing. My worst nightmare would be to find her dead. She wasn't a young cat. She was born in May 1985 ... so she lived for over 17 years. We practically grew up together. One of my earliest memories is of her being born, in a box on the stairs to the roof, near a sink... (don't ask. It was a 400 year old house LOL)

Her coat was a velvety thick black, turning reddish brown as the roots. She had the most sparkly big emerald green eyes and used to sleep for hours in a patch of sunlight or infront of the gas heater. At nights, she made a great substitute to a hot water bottle. Aaahhh the memories.. cold feet where the least of my worries.

We used to say she 'talked'. Each time we called her name or a variant of it, she'd reply.

"Fang?"

"Meeeh..?"

"Faannngg?"

"Meeeh?"

"Fangle fumps?"

"Meeeeeh?"

"Foossy Fang!"

"Meeeh?" ...et al.

Oh how I miss her! *sheds a tear*

We never forgot you, Fangle Bangle.

Cinema Trailers

2006-11-24T23:36:00.000+01:00

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Thanks to XQ, for this link. It's a hilarious impersonation of that voice over you so often hear in movie trailers, when out at the cinema.. Definately a must watch!

Brand Me.

2006-11-23T20:29:00.000+01:00

Why is it that even though people come out of good schools, hold good jobs and consider themselves a bit intellectual, they still call a vacuum cleaner - a "Hoover", a flask - a "Thermos", pen - "biro", scouring cream - "Jif", bleach - "hi-gene", etc... irrespective of what brand name they really are.

It's like when we call a man we don't know, "Chah-ly" or "Joe"...
Can you imagine referring to every car you see as a "Poo-gu"?

So now, with brand Malta... what are we supposed to be called? Pastizz? LOL!

A weekend trip.

2006-11-19T21:23:00.000+01:00

This is one of them rare moments when I actually put something I did into "ink". This weekend we went camping! Woohoo! Not the kind of rainforest trekking where you have to drink drops of dew collected on oversized leaves and eat bugs the size of your finger to survive. We were not chased by rhinos, and we didn't even get malaria. But I did burn my hand. :D

After we erected our means of shelter, (a three roomed tent), the alpha male proceeded to "Make of the Fire". With his primeaval gathering instincts, he brought much fire wood to the entrance of the cave. "Look after it woman. We cook in this." He then made a fire pit and put the fire wood in it. The alpha male stood, tall, his mighty chest glistening with sweat in the sun, and in a flash, he created fire right before our eyes! He then put his lighter to a charcoal bud which instantly caught, and lit the rest of the wood up. Bravo alpha male! Tonight, you hit me on head with wooden club and then me suck your d*ck to for make gratitude.

He proceeded to cook the meat that someone else caught, killed, skinned and marinaded by carefully placing it on a wire grill over the fire.

We ate, we put the kids to sleep and we drank .. (yes, in that order ;) ) and we did much talking ...

To put it simply, camping alone has it's own advantages. :D

Borat Goes Wine Tasting...

2006-11-11T21:20:00.000+01:00

ROFL!!! This has to one of the funniest Borat clips I've seen so far! I'm dying to see the film but until then, I gotta share this with you readers of thy blog.

Warning: Contains explicit images, ie. if you are under 18 you're gonna want to see it even more.

2006-11-11T11:02:00.000+01:00

On the occasion of the republicans major losses at the American mid-term elections, I am celebrating with this beautiful bit of work.

Please meet the genius behind Bush's speeches.

Riding nerdy. No, white and dirty. No... erm...

2006-11-05T20:54:00.000+01:00

Yes. Another Youtube vid. Been spending too much time on it, I know.. but you might even see some of yourself in this video.

Think you've *heard* this before huh?

Gotta hand it to "Chamillionaire" for making braces and big ears fashionable.

Why women prefer to stay single.

2006-11-02T10:27:00.000+01:00

There was a time when men thought that marrying a girl was an 'act of charity'. To support her, to feed her, protect her and give her a roof over her head. Women were grateful that someone, anyone took them because God forbid they ever be 30 and still single.

So, men are confused by in recent times, many women choose to stay single. And I'm here to help them understand.

Most interesting post ever.

2006-10-29T19:29:00.001+01:00

You can all go suck on something hard (or soft, what ever makes you happy lol) because I'm out of ideas. So F*ck off.

So until something outrageous happens in my life, like for example, my husband coming back from a long holiday, or my mouse stops working, you won't be reading anything interesting in here.

Until then, enjoy a bit of Russel Peters.

Friday the 13th

2006-10-13T10:53:00.000+02:00

Oh Lord, you better stay in bed today. It's the dark Friday! Your post will consist of bills. Your toast will burn. You might spill your tea as you take it into your living room and if you are a man, you will find that on this unlucky day, you will wet the toilet seat. Friday the 13th also effects memory. This will explain why you also forgot to put the toilet seat down.

Please be careful and do not attempt anything new today.

Like eating beans and scuba diving. Simultaneously.

( Don't forget to turn the music off. )

Also, invest in a good pair of running shoes. Just incase.

Your REAL Horoscope!

2006-09-28T17:25:00.000+02:00

Find out what your f'kin future holds...

2006-09-25T10:34:00.000+02:00

Wizard Of Oz - Uncut!

ROFL this is hilarious!!

Challenge me!!

2006-09-17T19:07:00.000+02:00

Oh how I just love picking a fight! The adrenaline rush is better than sex. Ok. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. lol.

All I need is one small comment, one horrible look, one step out of that imaginary line of what's acceptable to say or do and the games begin! I could hit a guy without the least speck of fear. I wouldn't care that he's larger and stronger than me. My inner determination doesn't see the other person as anything but my equal. That's why it's better for me (read my health) to argue online. lol. At least I can switch my monitor off and cool down without ending up arrested for battery or missing an arm in St. Lukes Casualty Dept.

I could argue my way out of anything and if I can't, I won't bother trying.
Then you reach that point where it's like a sticking record. Always the same argument, always the same words, always the same route and always the same outcome. This is like missionary sex. Boring. (And no, it has nothing to do with Africa and poor hungry people, you stupid twat.)

An argument in itself, the adrenaline rush makes me so 'alive' and aware, so on edge and it feels like aviation fuel is pumping through my veins, not blood. I feel like I could knock someone off his feet with the swift darting of the tongue and then I would stand over him with my underpants over my trousers, hold my imaginary balls and laugh, "Mwuahahahahaha!" like some action hero.. no. Villain. I'd prefer to be the villain anytime! A villain who could win though, not those pussy villains who end up dead in Jean-Claude Van Crap films.

9/11 - 5 years later.

2006-09-11T15:53:00.000+02:00

Almost 3,000 people died that day. And 5 years later, we're no closer to peace.

Did Osama do it? Did the FBI/US government do it? All this means nothing because right now, we're exactly where they both want to be. At war. It won't be the first war that's ever been faught and it won't be the last.

But what chills my blood is the overnight massive rise in global hatred towards Muslims. And it WAS overnight. I saw it with my own eyes.

As I sat there waiting for CNN to bring some Muslim Cleric with a Qu'ran in his hands, furious at how people who call themselves muslims dare speak for millions of law abiding, tolerant muslims when they say God wants them to bring death to the west... it never came.

Some sporadic voices condemned the attacks, like our local Imam, but nothing as big as the Danish Cartoon saga. And as far as I see it, both events are an offence to every muslim!

9-11 just opened a new window of opportunity for further global unrest.
That is why I feel a small tinge of hope when I stumble on websites such as this one. http://www.freemuslims.org/

"Kamal (President of the Free Muslim Coalition Against Terrorism) is proud to be a Muslim and is not afraid to challenge the
shortcomings of other Muslims."

"Other Americans have spoken up against terrorism, but never before has this
message come with such clarity from Muslims and Arabs. Muslims are the only
ones
who can resolve the problem of terror in Islam."

Please, take the time to go through this website. It truly is a breath of fresh air. At least, 9/11 of 2006 has brought this site to me.

Playing tricks!!!

2006-09-11T00:08:00.000+02:00

The weather is playing tricks on me. I felt, for a few days, that finally it was getting cooler. I had my hair done and suprisingly, I could stand it down on my shoulders. It stayed perfect, so perfect, it reminded me how long it had been since I didn't end up looking like a frizz ball before it even had a chance to cool down. Something that a hairbrush could get lost in.

But lo and behold, it's hot again! As sweat pours off me like a dripping tap, I sit here fuming that my blowdry hasn't lasted even 12 hours. Damn you, stoopid weather!!!

So now it's back to 'cool me down' showers and sitting under the A/C all day with my hair in a granny bun.

If only I could go to Alaska for summer... I seriously think I was made to live in a colder country. Or maybe in a fridge.

Now, where did I put that hairbrush?...

Up in smoke.

2006-09-05T22:58:00.000+02:00

As I try to catch my breath from coughing until my lungs felt like they were coming out of my mouth, I sit there trying to contort my face into the dirtiest look ever, one that can reduce a man to tears, give him recurring nightmares and have him beg for me to stop.

But I go unnoticed. The paper seems to have far more interesting things than me giving a dirty look. How dare he smoke and emit them disgusting smelly emissions into the air and make my freshly blow dried hair smelly? Oh and make my asthma immediately worse? He smelt like a walking talking ashtray.

I felt helpless. I knew I had to wait another hour in the same room and it would be a very uncomfortable hour is I spent it lamenting with him over why it was illegal for him to be puffing away in my face. I felt like sitting right beside him and fart while I pick my nose.

Then with bogey still attached firmly to finger on display and with the thickness of the air tainted with 'eau du hara', I would lean over to see the day's news highlights. What would he think? That I'm a disgusting person with a disgusting habit that's imposing their presence, habit and all, on them?

GOOD.

Oh! Thou fobbing clay-brained clotpoles!

2006-08-26T09:21:00.000+02:00

Yay! It's Friday! It's kebab time!

After what seems like enough time to raise a cow, kill it, skin it, chop it up and cook it, I have the brood ready and dressed up to the nines.

First we go to a playing area for children which seems to me more like a public open air coffee-morning.. but at night. Women gather around to gossip while the men dutifully run after the toddlers.

Then, after watching a few kids beat each other up and a mother sportingly taking a few photos of her son when he climbes on the 'roof' of a wooden playing structure about 3 metres high.. we fuck off to get some chow.

Driving along the "beautiful" Sliema promenade, I can't help but wonder what tourists come to Malta for.

Lo and behold, qui-si-sana is in the sea! WTF is going on there?

Most of the promenade between TGIF and the road leading to Bisazza steet is cordoned off! In the middle of the tourist peak season!! Absolute genius!

(No, it couldn't wait till autumn and winter, it wouldn't fit the "Piss off as many tourists as possible" agenda would it?)

Oh how it must suck to be a tourist!!! First thing you see as you come off your plane are road works. This after a whole summer last year of having most arterial roads dug up. The people who plan and put all this into action must be rocket scientists! What will they do when there's nothing left to dig up and pull down? Banish pastizzi?

But hey! Atleast we actually found a parking space away from the cttv camera. And the food was great, like always. Save for the table of ogling Pakis. Go back to your country you damn foreigners!

Erm...

Skin, melons and camel toes.

2006-08-23T23:34:00.000+02:00

Why hello my dear male audience! This is your lucky day!
You don't wanna read about what I cooked today or what top would go with my new khaki pants..
I know exactly what you want. You want skin, melons and camel toes. Ah you men! You're like an open book!
So, sit back, loosen your tie and let me cater to your visual pleasure needs. No, I am not posting a picture of anyone naked.. but a couple of pretty models for your exclusive viewing pleasure.

Hot hot hot?

Damn right perfect I'd say!

Don't like asian?

Here you go..

nice eh?

I bet you're all steamed up...

Hold it boy!

Contain yourself please..

...because I think you'd be surprised to know that these women are actually men.

Go on. You can puke now. :D

Lying gits!

2006-08-19T16:17:00.000+02:00

Men! LOL! You just can't trust them!

*rolls eyes*

For all the Watersport fans out there...

2006-08-13T13:10:00.000+02:00

Dave Chapelle Does R. Kelly

(and this pic is actually OF R. Kelly.)

ROFLMAO!!

Don't forget to turn the blog music off from the music box beneath the chat box on your left.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This is just hilarious!

To understand why, you either need to be a urophiliac or you need to read this first.

Pedophilia

2006-08-08T18:03:00.000+02:00

Eugh!
Even the name sounds like some contagious disease from the dark ages where your appendages would rot and fall off... if only!..

We've all come across news of some sick fuck who tried to screw a child or two... but what's almost as twisted is that there exist people who don't recognize pedophilia when it hits them square in the face.

Maybe they're in denial.. Or maybe they like it too!

"I was young and it was exciting!"

**retch**

These people need to be cured, don't you agree? :D

2006-08-08T17:55:00.000+02:00

My Malta - as I see it

I love this video...

Don't forget to turn the site music off from the music box beneath the chatbox. ;-)

Rehab

2006-08-01T04:19:00.000+02:00

They say the first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting you have one.

See, doesn't that make so much sense? I mean, if I had an addiction, I think that would be the first step to take for sure - but I don't.

Ok, I might freak out if for some reason my internet is cut off, if my modem stops working or my pc gives me trouble. I might get snappy and start to wonder what to do with myself, how I would cope with an internet-less life, how I can bare to live without news at the touch of a button, a discussion only a click away and massive e-encyclopedia that can answer any kind of question, that crops up into your head, in a matter of seconds or a chat with someone thousands of miles away.

But just because I turn my pc on before I've washed my face in the morning, doesn't mean I'm addicted! Or because I have breakfast and lunch at my pc desk.. or because I placed our cold water dispenser right next to my desk!! These things are normal, right?

And that's a real question, cos I don't remember life before the Internet. Did people have to actually BUY the newspaper? Did they have to wait till the weatherman appeared on t.v. for the weather update? Did they really have to go through tens of books to search for the answer to why the moon seems larger at the horizon? Did they actually buy envelopes and stamps and wait days before correspondence was received?

I wonder how many people stay up all night using the internet? I mean, the internet is useful and all, but losing sleep to stay online.. now that's really an addiction! Some people really need to get a life! Tsk!

Lebanon.

2006-07-28T19:37:00.000+02:00

Ok. Second post in a day, but this really made me cry.

Amidst war-mongering voices of people who try to justify what Israel is doing to Lebanon by using "muslim fanatic terrorists" as a good excuse, I can't help but feel angry at how post 9/11 propoganda is being used for every blunder or push towards an instable middle east by Israel and by the power that sponsors it.

There is a worldwide distrust towards muslims since the attacks in London and Spain... and it shadows straight thinking when it comes to affairs where the muslim is a genuine victim.

This makes no difference to what I'm going to show you. Because even though the West won't denounce Israel's attacks on Lebanese civillians, many fail to realise that a huge portion of these people aren't even muslim at all. Infact, they are christians.

Would we be sitting by watching this happen if it happened in any other non-muslim country? What's wrong with us?!?!

See through the eyes of the Lebanese.

Without Internet

2006-07-28T18:21:00.000+02:00

What was I thinking?!?! I trusted my most prized possession in the hands of my better half, and as he touched it.. BOOM!! It just blew up. A big explosion smashed the windows and a plume of smoke engulfed the house.

Ok. It wasn't exactly like that. But the point is: my pc stopped working. As I watched on, in what seemed like a frame in frozen time, I contemplated mouth to mouth resuscitation, kicking it (maybe it was a lose wire. You never know!), kicking my husband - but I quickly realized that that's not a very good idea, and finally, suicide.

My husband glanced at me and winced.. then he was like "Erm, I didn't touch it! It wasn't me!" *rolls eyes*.

I look at my monitor. It's black. Oooohhhh Myyyy Gaaawwdddd!!!! I want to fall to the floor and cry like a baby.. I want to kick and scream.. and shout "It's BLAACCKKK!!!" at the top of my lungs but I would look like a complete and utter fool, because my monitor has always been black. But today it is also not working.

Depression starts to take over and a huge black cloud comes down on me.
As I lay down in despair, with un-blowdried hair and unshaved legs, I wait for death to come for me.

Then the door bell goes.. Tsk!! Please go away, can't you see I'm trying to depress myself to death here!!

It's my brother.. and he's come to fix my pc! I can't believe it!! This is express service if there ever was any! In less than 12 hours! :D

I guess I can hide the noose now.

Thanks bro. :D

Oh those eyes.

2006-07-24T14:16:00.000+02:00

"No", I shouted as I stormed off leaving her to cry in her bed. She's on punishment. Again.

I'm going to have to think of something new soon. This is getting old. As I get on with mopping up the mess, her screams seem like they could tear down the house. Of course, we have different kinds of crying.

Crying type1. "I hurt myself. Really. I did." This one may have a delayed reaction. She scruntches her nose and distorts her lips, bares her teeth and lets out this high pitched whinge that starts a couple of octaves higher than it finishes. This may stop for a while, and start again once mummy is looking at her.

Crying type2. "But I don't want to!!" She frowns and gives me the dirtiest look. Then puts on like this strained smile and moans throught it with her teeth clenched.

Crying type3. "Oh pity me!" First, the frustration. So screaming and squeeling kick off. Throw in a couple of threats.. "If you don't take me out of punishment right now, I'll throw your computer (toy) away!" then a few more frustration screams when I refuse to aknowledge her threats.. and after a while in comes the pity me cry.

She looks at me with those big blue teary eyes that could melt a rock. The corners of her mouth twist down.. and she cocks her head to one side.. "But I love you mummy, and I'm so so so sorry, I won't ever never do it again. Ever. I really won't. I promise!"

As I got up to her she hugs me.. almost like she's holding on to dear life. and as I lift her out of bed I get, "Now I've been a good girl. Can I have some chocolate?" *rolls eyes*

Pandora's Box

2006-07-22T15:58:00.000+02:00

In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on earth. Zeus ordered the god of craftsmanship, to create her and he did, using water and earth. The gods endowed her with many talents; Aphrodite gave her beauty, Apollo music, Hermes persuasion, and so forth. Hence her name: Pandora, "all-gifted".

When Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Epimetheus, Prometheus' brother.

With her, Pandora had a jar which she was not to open under any circumstance. Impelled by her natural curiosity, Pandora opened the jar, and all evil contained escaped and spread over the earth. She hastened to close the lid, but the whole contents of the jar had escaped, except for one thing which lay at the bottom, and that was Hope.

Be advised the link contains graphical images of the war in Lebanon.

It's not funny

2006-07-21T08:41:00.000+02:00

Dammit! Is it morning already?

I shut my eyes tighter maybe time would just reverse.. and the sun would disappear, the noise would go away and I can get back to my dream that was cut way too short. And as I try to force myself to carry on with my dream, I find myself getting further and further away from it.. forgetting vital details.. I get desperate ... try to re-live the whole dream to remember where it left off.. what went wrong.. and why the hell is someone calling me? Can't you see I am having a dream? Go AWAY!

Is this some joke? Some joke my mind is playing on me? First it creates these crazy thoughts, gets you liking them enough to make it into a story and then as it's getting to the exciting bit, the lights go on. Gee. Thanks brain.

After what seems like an eternity of struggle, I give up and open my eyes. The bright light washes all the sweet memories away, and there I am, sitting in harsh reality.

Yes. It's morning.

A habit I can't kick.

2006-07-20T15:38:00.000+02:00

Dear Dr. Phil,

I am afrayed for ma aown safety and so I am writing this lettar as a cawll foor help. I have a habit that has turned into an addiction a lawng time ago. I have tried to re-habilitayte ma'self many taames in the paaast and wonce I contemplayted compleytely givin' up. I'm very embarrassed to speak about this on 'naational tey'vay' but I am e' frayed that if I don't change ma ways I maaay end up ded.

Dr. Phil, pleays elp me .
The nail biter.

Stupid Shoutbox!!! AAGGHHHRRR!!!

2006-07-18T21:25:00.000+02:00

My shoutbox hates me. When it actually appears on the page, it absolutely won't let me post messages in it. It's telling me my cookies are deactivated.

I fekkin' hope so! I don't want radioactive biscuits, thankyouverymuch.

So, dear readers, even though I am not replying, because I don't have the right brand of Chocolate Uranium Biscuits, I am still reading your comments and appreciating them.

Edit: I have scrapped the shoutbox and chosen a new one that doesn't ask for sweets.

Please only post messages that make me look good. Thank you.

Dry your eyes.

2006-07-18T09:40:00.000+02:00

How easy it is for us to take each day, each word, each person and each moment for granted. And how much we ache when these things are taken away from us abrubtly. Like the body shuts down and stops reasoning properly. Our spirit dies and we don't care about anything anymore. We don't care if we make fools of ourselves on our mission to recover the scraps left behind. We are desperate to bring our lives back to 'normality', back to the same routine we had before, the same security and comfort.

We feel lost as if in a huge desert without a map or guide. Just vast emptiness. We are usually so in control of what happens in our lives, that when we have no control over a situation, it completely knocks us off our feet.

We breakdown in seemingly unending sadness and those around us try to comfort us but their words just don't hit the mark. We lie there, letting our minds go over it time and time again. We blame ourselves, we blame others, then we blame ourselves again. The healing process begins when we cry our eyes out in despair. We flush our system from all the bottled up emotion, fear, anger and stress. Then we feel wasted. And we're bitter, probably more so when we realise what we've just put ourselves through to simply accept the facts of the way things have turned out.

Dry your eyes, mate. ;)

The day I fell in love with Gozo.

2006-07-17T02:26:00.000+02:00

What a day!

We spent the day in Gozo with the kids! It has been 3 yrs since I took the 20 minute ferry ride over.. and this morning, completely out of the blue, we decided to spend the day there... Sometimes the more you plan and dwell on something, the more likely it is to fall through.

The weather was beautiful, the sea lovely... we got there in time for lunch.. so we went to a restaurant in Marsalforn. I ordered king prawns in garlic and I was quite pissed off when I realised that they served (5) king prawns with a handfull of chips and a "burger" salad!

Heck! That was overpriced!

I wouldn't have ordered it if I'd known I was getting a 'kiddies' meal. Oh well. I wasn't gonna let something like food ruin my mood.

After lunch, we went swimming in Hondoq. What a beautiful place! I've always loved it there.

We really enjoyed it and managed not to get stung by the jellyfish masses that began arriving..

After that, we went to Xlendi for a pizza... but the kids slept. So we took a take away and eat on the rocks, beside the car, and watched the sun set over the Xlendi cliffs. How beautiful!

We purposely stayed late to miss the ferry traffic and queue. At 20.30 we find ourselves behind a line of traffic appearantly going to the ferry. My husband thought he can drive past the "queue" but we found a copper at the bottom who sent us back. This did not sink my husband's heart, I thought, as he took a turn that led to God knows where... we ended up going through this village... trying to get our bearings.. and I noticed how peaceful and clean everywhere was. "What a great place to bring your kids up", I thought. And this idea grew on me. I don't think I'd mind living in Gozo if push came to shove. In fact, I think I'd like the tranquility.

Everything is so well looked after. It shows that a woman is behind it's management.

Ana Yalli Bhebbak

2006-07-16T02:12:00.000+02:00

I have an addiction.

And this addiction is for the music of a Lebanese singer called Nancy Ajram. I can make out parts and sometimes most of the lyrics because Lebanese is so close to Maltese. The latest 'I can't get this song out of my head' attack is due to her latest release, Ana Yalli Bhebbak.

For my fellow Maltese who didn't have Arabic as school subject, Ana is Jiena, yalli is illi and bhebbak is nhobbok. So it means: I, the one that loves you. Other words you might make out are 'wahdi' 'ghomri' 'tibqa' 'rridek' 'habibi' 'nar' 'b'har' 'biss' and 'qalbek/qalbi'.

I'm not into soppy songs much but this is far from soppy. The lyrics may be a bit.. but the beat and the music are .. I have no words for it.. I love percussion, and arabic music is designed to make you want to move. Ok, not them guys who sing like they're giving birth ...infact, I tend to like music from female arabian singers more than from men.

This is the music clip for Ana yalli bhebbak.

Nothing stunning, cos this tune was made for a jewellery commercial. But the music is still awesome.

Today I learnt...

2006-07-14T21:10:00.000+02:00

...that your heart doesn't really stop when you sneeze.

Yes. I know. Unbelievable but true.

And I've had a hard time convincing a group of people. And I haven't quite succeeded. In fact, I've convinced no one yet. It seems they're happier to think that they die and come back to life hundreds of times a year.

Next, I'm gonna try and convince them that the earth is round.

This is gonna be a hard one I know. But in the name of mother knowledge, who does not exist, I shall descend on these people like a white eagle with big ears, and show them the way to macaroni and cheese, tampons and the microwave.

And they will shoot down this eagle with lightning bolts from their arse.

Dammit!

Men and their dinkies.

2006-07-13T23:19:00.000+02:00

What is it with the worldly importance of the male sexual organ? Why is it something that has been drawn, sculptured and admired for thousands of years?

Even mother nature has her own version... meet the REAL magic mushroom.

The Phallus Impudicus.

Also known as the "Stink horn" ...

It's so perfect that it usually has one or more "balls" at it's base.

Another interesting phallus would be the one in Luqa, Malta that greets our tourists as they drive past it on their way to their hotels.

Look at the magnificent proportions of this erect man-made sculpture. And believe me, it must have been a MAN who came up with that!

And finally, to conclude our biology lesson today, here is a funny animation of a guy who has a special relationship with his dinky.

Enjoy! ROFL!

Censored. For your own protection.

2006-07-12T18:39:00.000+02:00

Hah! Yeah right. Since when does someone else decide what we must and mustn't watch or listen to? And what gives this person or body of people the right or the knowledge to deem anything as something not fit for a mature audience? We see so much thriller movies, full of gore! Is it that bad if we chose to see something that was shocking but was real opposed to invented and staged?

Mind you, some countries have it worse. In some countries, the populace is treated like children. Media is filtered so only the nice, pro-government information and images are permitted. Like cartoons that have a happy ending.

You know, Snow White never did die of asphyxiation. She just lay in her air tight coffin for a couple of years with a piece of poisoned apple lodged in her trachea, until her prince rescued her.

What?! It's true! Honest!!!

Does size matter? No really, does it?

2006-07-11T08:43:00.000+02:00

Of course it bloody does!

If it didn't, why do we have spoons and tablespoons? Why do we have saucers and plates? Espressos and cappuccinos?

"Would you like to Go Large, Sir?"

Ok. Now before you start crying, just think.. does the size of your bank account matter? Does the size of your car engine matter? Does the size of your wife's arse matter?

See...? :)

Size DOES matter after all!

Now, tell me, what's the size of your shoes?

Woohooo! I have a blog!

2006-07-10T21:53:00.000+02:00

Yey! A blog! And it's mine! It's mine!! All mine!! Mwuahahahaha!!!

So, here is a place to post ramblings, rant, slander, utter rubbish and take the piss out of anything that annoys me. I might put something nice in too. Maybe.

I'm a lovely girl. Really I am. :) *hides cleaver behind back*

SOOOooooo...

*thinks*

let's start off with a warning.

If you are easily offended and/or do not possess a sense of humour, leave.

No.

Run.
As fast as you can.. the door is this way..